Based on the self-published book What To Do With The Kids by Brian Presley (2001), this website features almost everything an adult needs to know when they want to know what to do with the kids.

Re-launched on January 15, 2011, the site has expanded to include a Market Place, a directory of kid and family friendly places to visit and special features including our unique WTDWTK Special Reports.

As a privately held company, we strive to provide you with useful and entertaining features and information. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact us.

Our goal is: To make kids smile and the inside and out.

Jokes: People

If you have a good joke or riddle, feel free to send it to us at jokes@whattodowiththekids.com.

What do people do in clock factories?     They make faces all day.
Who earns a living by driving his customers away?     A taxi-driver.
How many witches does it take to change a light bulb?     Only one but she changes it into a toad!
What did the girl say when her father fell in the river?     Paddle pop!
Which fly makes films?     Steven Spielbug.
Where do people go dancing in California?     San Frandisco.
Why was the policeman hiding in the tree?     He was a member of the special branch.
What does a witch ask for when she arrives at a hotel?     Broom service.
What kind of umbrella does a Russian carry when it's raining?     A wet one.
What happened to the man who couldn't tell putty from toothpaste?     His windows fell out.
A butcher is 200 centimeters tall, wears size 110 trousers and size 12 shoes what does he weigh?   Meat!
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?     He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
Why did the boy wear a belt on his teeth?     He couldn't find his braces.
Why did the boy throw a glass of water out the window?     He wanted to see a waterfall.
What game do cannibals play at parties?     Swallow my leader.
What's the difference between a jeweler and a jailer?     One sells watches and the other watches cells.
Boy to girl: Do you file your nails? Girl: No, when I cut them off,      I throw them away.
There are three kinds of people in the world.     Those who can count and those who can't.
What did the parents say to their son who wanted to play drums?     Beat it!
If the former ruler of Russia was called the Czar and his wife the Czarina, what were his kids called?
                                                            The Czardines, of course.
If an athlete gets athlete's foot, what does an astronaut get?     Missile-toe.
Why did the man hit the clock?     Because the clock struck first.
What does the winner of the race lose?     His breath.
Tourist: How would you describe the rain in this part of the country?
                                            Local: little drops of water falling from the sky.
What's round and bad-tempered?     A vicious circle.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?     The dark.
What do you call a wicked old woman who lives by the sea?     A sandwitch.
What do you call a hippie's wife?     Mississippi.
What is a baby's motto     If at first you don't succeed cry, cry again!
What is the one thing everybody in the world is doing at the same time?     Growing older.
What's in an astronaut's favorite sandwich?     Launch meat.
Did you hear about the two kids that walked into a church?
                                It was kind of silly, the second one should have seen it coming.
What is black and white and sleeps a lot?     A snoozepaper!
Why did the man put his money in the freezer?     He wanted cold hard cash!
What do firemen put in their soup?     Fire crackers!
What was the pirate movie rated?     aRRRgh!
What happens once in a minute, twice in a moment but never in a thousand years?     The letter M.
Who can jump higher then a skyscraper?     Nobody, because skyscrapers can't jump!
Why did the policeman have a blanket over himself?     He was working undercover!
How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?     A buccaneer.
Why did the man take a pencil to bed?     To draw the curtains!
What do you get when you cross a genius with a tree?     Albert Pine-stein!

One scientist said to another scientist "We discovered the exercise that helps kill germs".
The other scientist said "Yeah, but how in the world are we going to get germs to exercise"?

Boy: I haven't slept in days. Girl: Aren't you tired? Boy: No, I sleep at night!
Which Presidents are not buried in America?     The ones that aren't dead yet!
10 people shared a small umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?     Because it wasn't raining!

Joe: When the clock struck 12 last night, I said to myself, "Joe, everything is coming your way!"
Sam: That's a great way to start the New Year! What did you do after that? Joe: I quickly pulled into the correct lane!

What kind of band does a wife have?     A husband!
Ann: Someone said that you look like an owl. Amanda: Who? Ann: You sound like one too!
Customer: "Excuse me, waiter, is there spaghetti on the menu?"  Waiter: "No, madam, I wiped it off."
Why do firemen wear red suspenders?     To keep their pants up.
Why did the baker stop making donuts?     He got sick of the hole business.
What would you get if you dropped a piano on an army officer?     A flat major!
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?     Fingernails.
What's round and bad-tempered?     A vicious circle.
Why do lumberjacks like computers?     Because they get to log in.
How do hockey players kiss?     They puck-er up.
Why did the boy wear a t-shirt outside in the winter?     He wanted to be cool.
What do you get when you cross a baseball player and a fork?     A pitchfork.
 

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