Based on the self-published book What To Do With The Kids by Brian Presley (2001), this website features almost everything an adult needs to know when they want to know what to do with the kids.

Re-launched on January 15, 2011, the site has expanded to include a Market Place, a directory of kid and family friendly places to visit and special features including our unique WTDWTK Special Reports.

As a privately held company, we strive to provide you with useful and entertaining features and information. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to contact us.

Our goal is: To make kids smile and the inside and out.

Jokes: Food & Drink

If you have a good joke or riddle, feel free to send it to us at jokes@whattodowiththekids.com.

What were Tarzan's last words?     Who greased the vine!
What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?     The banana split.
What do you call two rows of cabbages?     A dual cabbageway.
Why do Teddy Bear biscuits wear long trousers?     Because they've got crummy legs.
What's brown, white and yellow and travels at 100 kilometres per hour?     A train driver's egg sandwich
What two things can't you have for breakfast?     Lunch and dinner.
What's a doughnut?     A person who's crazy about money.
What's sweet and sour and violent?     Kung-food.
What are green, red and yellow and wears boxing gloves?     Fruit punch!
What are round, white and giggles?     A tickled onion.
How can you divide six potatoes among 20 people?     Boil them and mash them!
What starts with T, ends with T and is full of T?     A teapot.
Why couldn't the egg loan any money to the man?     Because it was broke!
Why did the apple go out with a fig?     Because it couldn't find a date.
Which is the left side of a pudding?     The side that's not eaten.
How many hamburgers can you eat on an empty stomach?
                               Only one bite since after that your stomach is no longer empty.
What do you call two banana peels?     A pair of slippers.
What does a train do with food?     Chew, chew.
What kind of beans can't grow in a garden?     Jelly Beans.
Why did the baby cookie cry?     Because its mother was a wafer so long.
Where is the best place to have a bubble gum contest?     On a chew-chew train.
What did one plate say to the other plate?     Lunch is on me.
What did the mayonnaise say to the bread?     Close the door, I'm dressing.
What did the grape do when it got stepped on?     It let out a little wine!
How do you make soup golden?     Add 24 carrots.
Why did the cook get arrested?     Because he beat up an egg.
What does a pickle say when he wants to play cards?     Dill me in!
What do you get if you cross a banana with a clown?     Peels of Laughter.
Why didn’t the orange finish the race?    It ran out of juice.
What did the cereal say to the juice at breakfast?    I propose a toast. 
Why did the corn say the farmer was mean?   He kept pulling it’s ears.
Why does a banana use sunblock?    So it won’t peel.
How did the cabbage talk to the lettuce?    Head to head.
What do you eat for breakfast at a lighthouse?     Beacon and eggs.
What food runs in a race?     Fast food.
How do you make a milkshake?     Sneak up behind it and say “booh!”
What do you call a happy mushroom?     A fun-guy.
How did the egg get up the mountain?     It scrambled up.
What did one hot dog say to the other hot dog?      Come on, let’s be frank.
Why are bananas never lonely?     Cause they hang out in a bunch.
What’s chocolate and lies on the seabed?      An oyster egg.
What kind of egg travels the most?      An eggsplorer.
What did the mean egg say to the nice egg?      I’ll scramble you.
What does a banana do for exercise?      The splits.

Return to Joke Categories HERE